I’ve done a really good job of not freaking out so far. But I’m running out of not freaking out energy. I’ve found that there are just so many things you can bring yourself to care about in a day, or week, or month. And right now I think I’m about ready for a half an hour or so of panic, the problem being once you let go of that sort of thing you might not get a handle on it again.
I came in to the office to pretend it was a normal day, and everyone here is hacking up a lung. So I’m going to go home at lunch and work from there until I am able to handle sick people again. I might turn the music up loud and sing really loudly and badly. I think that may help. It’s better than curling into a little ball under the covers. Which sounds silly when I type it, and even thinking about it too hard seems over dramatic.
Talking about doing it makes it less likely I’ll end up doing it I guess. Thanks for being a cathartic experience.