I read Bigfoot Wars. It was like snorting broken glass, with cocaine on it. You really want the cocaine, and are mostly OK with the broken glass.
Total spoilers below. But it won’t ruin the book at all.
Action/Horror story, introduce character, flesh them out in half a page and kill them three pages later, in a hopeless situation. Smashed skulls, impaled on street signs, thrown into brick walls, etc… But copypasta everywhere, “giant fingers sink into flesh” all over, and spines crackle, and light dims as horrors move in. Some of the descriptions were worded the wrong way, I don’t know if I can explain it, but instead of “A light, as if from Hell, shone through the beasts eyes” it was “It looked as if the light of Hell was being projected through the beasts eyes unto the sheriffs disbelieving eyes.” He described when he should have shown things. And just like a Harlequin Romance, people never said things, they exclaimed, they panted, they shouted, they whispered breathily. There are a couple sex scenes, but they are so awkward and badly done I wasn’t aware it was a sex scene until it was almost over.
Now, action book… Every pistol is a 9mm Glock or a 44 Magnum. Glocks take clips and can’t kill anything in the books. M-16s are fully automatic, and so are AK-47s, and guns must be registered and permitted. You rock a “clip” into an M-16 and an AK. An AR-14 is an awesome weapon of destruction. Casings fly everywhere, 50 caliber weapons fire non-stop for thousands of rounds. Young girls bury hunting knives into skulls to the hilt, more than once. Katanas are better. A battalion headquarters is 100 infantry, 3 APCs with “dozens of crew” and a mobile command center so massive they leave it behind, oh, and 4 M1A4 Abrams. Tactics are standing in a ring and shooting everything, or charging directly into death.
And the last bastion of mankind falls because of a ill kept garage door opener. Except not really because the epilogue shows mankind ascendant again
But… I read it all. It was $.99 on Amazon for three books. I’m slightly interested in reading the rest, it’s like eating bad popcorn, you’ll be pickign bits of it out of your teeth forever, but while you are eating it it’s fun.
And now I’m reading the entire original Conan works. In order as written. For $0.00.