Things you wish you could say (everywhere)

#1195

Hold up, you’re offended that your jokes offended him? That’s how you react to it? Man, you really are just a moron.

1 Like
#1196

It doesn’t speak well of your product if I have to use an older version of the program just to be able to perform a task that is cumbersome and unweildy in the newer version.

3 Likes
#1197

The fishy part of the politics thread reminded me…

WHAT THE ACTUAL FSCK???

That’s what I wanted to say last night…
[EDIT: Ok, this kind of turned into a rant. Feel free to skip while I vent. :wink: ]
Backstory: $Wife’s had a death in the family, but out of the country, so she couldn’t go to the services. She’s been kind of down, understandably. This happened just as the school year is starting, which is back to work time for her. She has a new manager, as in new to the position, with apparently no clue how to manage - just thinks they have a new personal fiefdom and slaves to rule over. Soooo, $wife was already stressed and not happy when she got the family news.
She’s starting to perk back up, so I thought it might help to go out for dinner. I asked where she would prefer to go. “Oh, whatever is fine, up to you.” My favorite standby is the Mexican place near our house; I’ve been going there for more than ten years. One waiter, who worked his way up from bus boy, will cross the restaurant to say Hola and shake my hand, so yeah, they kind of know me. $Wife likes it, but not every time we go out. So, after ten minutes, I finally drag out of her that she would really prefer going someplace that she can order salmon. Ok, fine, I can usually find something along the line of steak, chicken or a burger just about anywhere. We decide to go to local seafood place that, while a little pricey, has very good food. She usually orders salmon there. Last night, even though they were kind of slow: we didn’t have the most stellar waiter; he forgot her salad; when it came out, the salad was kind of nasty (some of the lettuce was beyond not fresh). And, after she ordered shrimp instead of salmon, she was kind of disappointed that the shrimps were smaller than what she occasionally gets at the Mexican place (though the flavor was apparently good).
ARGH!!! (on the inside)
But I kept my mouth shut and she enjoyed the evening out, so mission accomplished.

#1198

Is today “Inconsiderate and Oblivious Pedestrian Day” or something?
To the guy who tried to cross the street with me in between him and the street: Yes, I’m a lot bigger than you, so of course you are going to bounce off me. I’d been walking beside you for at least 2 minutes, so I have no idea how you were unaware I was there.
To the 3 people who veered at least a meter off course in order to walk into my path: I was walking as far left as I could get. You had the entire rest of the footpath. Convention in NZ is to keep left. You can get out of my way.
To the 1 moron who didn’t get out of my way: See my comment above about bouncing.

Idiots

4 Likes
#1199

One of my buddies in high school was a pretty big dude, like could have been a linebacker big. Occasionally, people not paying attention while walking would bounce off him in the hallways. (And this was before cell phones!) To one guy, who actually fell to the ground, buddy said “Well what did you expect?” In the moment, I thought it was hilarious.

4 Likes
split this topic #1200

A post was merged into an existing topic: Things you wish the other driver could hear, v3.0

#1201

I’m Ook and I endorse this fully, in order to get rid of lazy, idiotic people :

A Clockwork Derange Video Store | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Popular

(I used to work at a chain video store as a second job. The
biggest question we receive from customers, after “do you have [New
Release that everyone already grabbed] behind the counter,” was the
request that we recommend a good comedy. Now, comedy is subjective. What
I find funny doesn’t always mean that someone else will find it funny.
After getting fed up with all the refunds, I changed my tactics. This
was a typical interaction.)
Customer: “Can you recommend a good comedy?”
Me: “Sure. Do you like musical comedies?”
Customer: “Sure.”
Me: “Then rent A Clockwork Orange. It’s a musical comedy, with some great themes, and a lot of slapstick.”
Customer: “Thanks!”
(Cut to usually an hour or two later…)
Customer: returning movie with a look of horror “What is WRONG with you?”
Me: “What? I laugh every time I watch it!”
(They usually leave me alone after that.)

5 Likes
#1202

FFS, everyone. Grow up.

1 Like
#1203

Piss off with your new T&C’s Whatsapp.

#1204

If this is what being Cub Scout committee chair entails, I demand that my salary be doubled.

Wait, it’s a volunteer position? Shit.

4 Likes
#1205

I am being super productive today! I have a ton of energy, and I’ve finally whipped whatever it is that’s been keeping me down.

1 Like
#1206

I’m not stuck in the ninth grade again. I’m not trying to help with Spanish I, english, algebra, physical science, and world history. And they most certainly haven’t completely changed the way they teach kids. Oy vey…

2 Likes
#1207

I’d be OK with all of those except algebra. I barely got that the first time around. Luckily the only kid I have says meow and doesn’t have homework she needs help with.

#1208
6 Likes
#1209

Yes, everything is fine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNSuYQ0mYUE

2 Likes
#1210

That I noticed that the granulated material I put in my nice Iced Coffee this morning wasn’t sugar.

I cold brew coffee especially for Iced Coffee last week, and this morningI fill a glass with ice, then apply Splenda, or sugar, to the ice, after that I pour the coffee on the ice to melt the sugar, Then I add a bit of milk.

I did this, and I’m anticipating it, and I take my first sip and almost throw up .

I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WE HAD SALT IN A CONTAINER!

And God knows why it’s in the same style of container, clear glass jug thingie, but only a size smaller than the sugar one. If I had been aware of the possibility I would have checked first.

3 Likes
#1211

Dang… no one should need a salt container that big. Isn’t the cardboard can it come in supposed to keep the salt from absorbing moisture & clumping? To me, it should stay in that container until the shaker on the table or in the kitchen needs refilling.

#1212

It’s pickling salt, we can a lot of stuff.

1 Like
#1213

Ahhh, that make a lot more sense.

#1214

We solved this problem by using Chip Spice instead of regular salt. Sugar is never orange :stuck_out_tongue: