Things you wish you could say (at work)

Stop moving the (expletive deleted) goalposts!

I’m being blinded by the blazing fast sync speeds. It’s averaging somewhere around 400MB an hour.

I’m going to repeat your request back to you and see if you can spot the issue.
You want to move 11 PHYSICAL servers that require PHYSICAL security dongles to access … to the cloud.

I’ll wait.

Oh, and they’re all Win2K8 machines (most are not even R2).

Okay, you see the problem. Great. Also, our department only deals with VIRTUAL machines. Go away, boy. You bother me.


How about “no”, I’m not going to hunt down the owner and give off the impression I’m craving his attention when I’m already leaving the company. I notified them a week and a half ago, via email, that I’m leaving. If they can’t bother using other communication mediums to reach out to me other than calling, that’s not my problem.


Are you trying to ask me a question or have you decided you want me to play “Choose Your Own Adventure”? You came here an answer but you’re also giving me multiple convoluted and lengthy theories on what the answer might be and then you just kind of stopped and didn’t actually finish asking the question.


“You have no soul, do you?”

Context: Showed a cow-orker the video of Phobos transiting the Sun as shot from Mars. He just didn’t get it.

I didn’t have two more Drs call out sick (one at each hospital) on top of the one that has COVID. Luckily I covered for the one with COVID (planned coverage) but we were still short. Went ok but I will certainly enjoy my three day weekend.

1 Like

If you are going to migrate email systems, perhaps you could consider waiting to forward mailboxes to the new system until people actually have access to them. :rage:

All day we’ve been wondering why we aren’t getting any emails, things can go out but nothing comes in. Well, because it’s being forwarded and we had not been told. So now we have two or three days of emails to catch up on. :rage:


If no one else is going to give a damn, why should I?


Repeat after me: Sometimes, simple is better.


All the doctors are showing up today and we won’t be down to basically me for the entire day. :roll_eyes:

1 Like

You asked a question and I gave you an answer. I’m not a mind reader so I’m obviously not going to include extra info unless it’s important for the answer or it’s asked for. You guys pull the same crap with us, why don’t you take a look at the mirror before criticizing me.

1 Like

It’s a fucking local market. It’s June, no one here has a hoop house suitable for growing local tomatoes in the quantity to satisfy the market.

Either relax your picky ass standards about where it comes from, or accept the fact that you can’t buy a melon until August. And no corn for another week or two.


So many things to address and while some things you do decide to be proactive for, the rest you’re completely reactive and expect us to drop everything to address it. You’re lucky the environment here is relaxed to begin with that we can afford to do that. Otherwise, don’t be surprised if you lose an entire team within 3 years again.

We have 4 remote sites. Each site have a generator.

Currently we are on rotational loadshedding as there is a shortfall in electricity generation.

Which means parts of the country get to experience the thrills and joys of blackouts.

Which means that the 4 sites in question need to ensure their generators are fully fueled and ready.

But they don’t. Generator goes phut.

Then UPS go waa wee waa wee, and shut down

Then servers schit the bed, and corrupt running VM’s.

We are in the process of rectifying this issue, and are implementing a shutdown-like-fuck-right-now automation on the servers themselves.

Previously we never needed to, because it never happened as there was always enough diesel in the generator.

People don’t have pride in their jobs anymore.

1 Like

Balls. One dead laptop PSU.

Thank you Eskom.

This is especially maddening because one would assume that they knew these blackouts were coming and that they would be prepared for them.

1 Like

PM for the route was also caught out. Not happy either.

In order to protect our asses, I have coded a powershell script which would create a daily export of the one VM (database server) and export it on the same server. (Offline backups we do have, it goes to another PC).

So should we have a balls-up situation where the VM’s get corrupted, we can just recover from the export, and update the DB.

The transactions will still be on the lane PC’s, each lane PC have its own database, so to recover a day’s data will not be a major PITA, but to recover the main server from scratch, is a major ballache.

This morning recovery (yes, we had a hard power-down last night) was uneventful, as replication was stopped, thereby preventing the corrupted main VM to replicate over to the replica VM.

1 Like

It was announced far and wide. If their chain of command failed to disseminate the warning to the lower ranks, it is their own fault.

1 Like

Bro, be concise and answer the question directly. Too much rambling too many times.

1 Like