Things you wish you could say (at work)


Sometimes a reboot of a piece of kit works wonders.

D-Stink ADSL router. Meh. And here I was suspecting the ADSL copper line…


Why, yes, I’d love to do more server work. If only you guys would get this exec support workload off my back, of course.


If you guys think that going to the cloud is going to fix everything, you really have a huge problem ahead. You’ve been surreptitiously trying to winkle information out of us regarding your network so that you could pull out of using us as a service so you can do this, but we’ve been instructed to only give you the information you need to do your work. The rest is our job.
Cloud services will be way more expensive than you imagine. Even if we create a private cloud within our own architecture and only go with about 20% external cloud and still have 30-40% on prem, your costs will increase. You really shouldn’t be making tech decisions based on the titles you see on magazines in the checkout line.




Good old Dilbert.


Every time we switch to an protocol we make an official announcement to the people affected by it, rather than a passive-aggressive “don’t forget that now we …” message through our group text. It’s not like we don’t all hold advanced degrees and doctorates or anything. No adults here. :roll_eyes:


This software is a piece of shit and while our connection to India is slow, it is not so slow that the Round Trip time is measured in minutes.


This is more a “thing I actually DID say at work.”

Right after finish a series of equipment moves, another large furniture unit was installed. I had to disassemble, move, then reassemble several workstations. This “do me a favor, it’ll be quick” job had already been stretched out to the third month. At the same time, a bunch of new chairs were also delivered.

As I finished my work, I saw several higher-ups and managers admiring the new chairs as they gushed over the new furniture. As these chairs were a brand-new model to $company.TF, no one had used them before. They were puzzled how to raise and lower the seats. After seeing them fumble for a few minutes I walked over and showed them the correct lever. Then they messed with the arms, and couldn’t get them to move. I demonstrated that a few times.

I then heard the next question and just sighed internally. I put my tools down and went through every chair function I could see.

Manager 1: Wow! You could teach a class!
Higher-Up: (laughing) You just knew how to do it, how did you know that? You should do it for a living!
TF: Yeah, it’s almost like I have a career as a technical professional!
(crickets chirp as I pack my tools)


Teamwork. There is no I in there, except in the a-hole who do NOT want to play/work in a team.

You’re ticking all the right boxes for manglement to get rid of you. Soon.

Can’t wait for that frabjous day.


Dear M$

Get lost, especially with the latest update for Win7 which tend to break things.

And stikkit that update up yer arse.


Upgrade already. Win7 goes EOL in 51 weeks.


Wish we could.

Budget constraints mean upgrading a bit here, a bit there…


Yeah, but Win10 is a turd on two of my systems. My primary personal laptop was completely happy and ran peachy until I let it upgrade to 10. Now it is barely usable - it takes several minutes longer to boot; once it looks like it is up and running, it still takes it over a minute to bring up the login prompt / password entry box; then it displays a desktop, as if everything was ready, but just opening a Win Explorer window takes forever. I think that computer came with Win 8.1, may have been 7 though. I’m really thinking of rolling back, but that means putting together a list of everything installed, making sure I have all the keys and registration info backed up, re-backing up all my misc. datas in one place, then doing a restore from the recovery partition and starting from scratch. Sooo not looking forward to that, dreading it actually, but I really need to, because I’m limping along with a mostly unusable computer. Sigh.


Most older laptops are quite happy with Win7, but saw severe degraded performance after a forced upgrade to Win10.

I have a client with such a laptop. She got a new one, which I finalized setting up yesterday evening for her. She is so glad, everything is smooth and works faster than the old laptop.

Old laptop got some serious crud on - her deceased husband surfed some pr0nz sites, and there’s weird stuff on it. Will be backing up and transferring her photos from old to new, then kick Win10 off and install Win7 (which it came originally with), and she’ll sell it off since she won’t be needing it anymore.


True, but my laptop is only 3 years old. We have a few laptops at work that are much older, but run Win10 just fine. Granted, they have faster processors, but the same amount of RAM.


Don’t forget that amongst the Windows 7 updates is the one that prevents you from running it on a newer motherboard. I have one that uses the AM3+ socket and if I ever have to replace the motherboard, those are getting scarce if you want to stick with new boards.


It must not have been some of the big name sites then because as far as i was aware and please correct me if im wring, those where safer (from crud) than most rando sites, or sites like ebaumsworld.


Dear $project_mangler

I cannot create an email group on a server I don’t have access to.

To wit : I can create but I cannot create unless I have superpowers and can haxx0r servers at will.

Kindly do understand how things work BEFORE AGREEING TO THINGS.



If only it was that easy.


Please let me summarize, to ensure I fully understood what you just said:

  • These weekly staff meetings are very important and allow us to try to stay on the same page as far as what we’re trying to accomplish and how it’s going. [I agree so far, against my will.]
  • It’s too difficult to pick a consistent date and time because something always comes up and despite being the ranking officer here you have no control over your own schedule and workload.
  • Naturally following from the first two points, we will in the future just have meetings at a random time and day each week that is convenient to your schedule.

That was last week, or perhaps the week before; I don’t remember. The last three staff meetings have been held on no notice–or rather, my notice was, “Hey, we’re starting the meeting now.” And then they wonder why we aren’t able to provide current numbers about things we didn’t know we’d be talking about at a meeting that was an absolute surprise.