Things you wish you could say (at work)


FFS thats is bad.

When i was a contractor at hospital X, there was a guard who broke the security system that monitors the new born to prevent kidnapping. I spent 6 hours trying to fix it. The Id10T broke it the next night and didn’t tell anyone until 730 am. He took it down at 10. I may or may not have reamed him…Needless to say, he no longer works for X hospital.


He also made threats to bring in a gun and shoot his boss, that was after threats of sexual violence against her…


Sounds like a real winner.


Why do you think instructions that say “delete all devices” wouldn’t scare me?


Dear $installationsteam

Have you ever considered that “I don’t want to think” = retrenchment somewhere down the line?

Let’s talk about the recent conference room relocation.

You do have a sound mind. You could have made notes of existing network connections and what is connected to the network - OR - you could have asked me to assist. Yet you did not.

You proceeded to relocate every single item from the old room to the new room (without breaking or damaging anything), which you can be commended up for.

You also managed to connect the projector and the conference telephone. The conference telephone was working, which is a good thing.


Where things tend to go pear-shaped is that none of you thought a bit further than “must the network switch also be connected to the network”… since there are network points on the table, plain as the nose on your face. You could also have made note of this fact BEFORE disconnecting the equipment and relocating it.

This is the reason why the company is where it is now - due to you guys not willing to think the extra mile through, and just want to do the job and drop it.


The connection of dock to one of the display is not good. The display shows input signal not find.

Dang it. I hate when my display input signal not find.


“Sorry for your input signal not find. Because all your base are belong to us.”


I recently wrote a presentation about my work to modify a vendor’s product to do what $company.TF needed. I had to write that presentation because the person presenting my work did not understand much of my work, and could not figure out how to use PowerPoint. I also had to assist during the presentation, because it was my work the vendor was most interested in, not $presenter’s work.

That information was so valuable to the vendor, the boss censored and controlled the meeting. The boss wants to leverage this information on the team’s work for financial considerations from said vendor.

That same boss sat me down to explain that I’m not confident or intelligent enough to get promoted, so of course the last several promotions went to others.

I reminded $boss.TF that he has long demanded that I do work above my title and pay grade, to the point that I am given the same tasks as and expected to cover for $people_at_that_title. I am also held to a higher standard for the work I do, with the presentation as an example. I was told, “Of course if I can get that work [from someone with lower title and pay], I want it. But that doesn’t make me a bad person!”

Funny, I wasn’t talking about what kind of person you are, or even hinting at it. Maybe you know you’re screwing me over and you feel bad about it, deep down. Not bad enough to stop, of course, but just a tinge.


That’s messed up.


But not uncommon, unfortunately.


Sounds like TF needs to find a place that values TF


@ToasterFairy - You will find another job quickly enough. Just hang on in there!


Also why I play dumb when it comes to powerpoint/excel/word magic. For myself I’ll do it, sure, for somebody else? Get knotted. There’s google/bing.


I do this often, especially in social circles when people find out what I do for a living.


Yeah… I always tell people what I really wish I did was forensic accounting. If they ask what I really do I just keep talking about accounting. Usually only takes one repeat. :rofl::rofl:


That’s genius!!


Don’t forget to wave your hat. You get extra points for that.


People know what I do for a living. It’s when they find out what I do for a hobby that they quit asking me to help out.


Not gonna ask!


Dear $Micro$oft

Your poofty product key font makes the 8 and B look almost similar.

My PFY did not spot the typo (I wrote the product key down as I was busy reinstalling Windoze Home on a craptop) until I pointed it out to him.

Kindly stop using 8 and B, kthanxbai.