Things you wish you could say (at work)


If y’all could have your little break room pow-wow someplace other than in front of the fridge that would be great. I’d like to get my lunch out.


You’re up my ass all morning when I’m neck deep in other stuff about how you need this problem fixed right now. $Cow_Orker looked at it but couldn’t fix it either and now that I need something from you so I can proceed with your new machine you’re nowhere to be found. I have way too many other tickets. You just lost your place at the top of the queue, lady.


Ah! She finally provided justification for her offer. I still think she’s low but now I see what we agree on and where we are further apart. And now I can make an educated counter based off that.

Only took seven months. :roll_eyes:


Dear $coworker, I don’t (and will not) explain the reasons for decisions taken with all things IT. If you don’t like it, then you’re welcome to do my job.

And no, I will NOT be helping you. You will be on your own. Because by the tone of your emails it seems that you consider the IT crew to be incompetent, and that you can do a better job.


Well, fingers crossed I sent over what should be the agreement. Hopefully she’s in a sane mood and doesn’t decide to change her offer that I’ve already agreed to. Told her if it looks good she can just drop off a couple cashier’s checks to the lawyer and I will sign on my next day off.


Sounds to me like you’ve sheared the sheep, washed and carded the wool, spun some lovely fibers, woven them into a length of material out of which you cut a particular shape that you then sewed into a hat.

Wave it. Wave it proudly.


Don’t do anything irreversible until the checks clear. Then grind her into dust. If you need anything removed from the facility, I have a cargo van and charge reasonable rates.


My wife’s clinic went through a slightly awkward transfer of ownership and is looking at moving premises… It’s a process where you don’t want to know how the sausage is made. Unless you’re involved, of course.

I’m staying out of it unless they ask for opinions on cabling and such.


Yeah. I’m so done with the whole thing. Last offer was the most confusing thing and in reality was a lower offer than she had made before. I don’t think she gets how this works.

Oh well. I have calls with practice brokers on Tuesday. Let her sit on it.