Things you wish you could say (at work)


ServiceNow is OK. Current job replaced something from CA with ServiceNow and it’s OK, with two main issues I see:

First, there’s a lack of customization which is being resolved slowly.

Second, there’s features to add ‘social’ stuff to it I see as kind of pointless/redundant. I don’t want casual ‘chatter’ in my ticketing solution.


We use ServiceNow and I hear you on the lack of customization. Their HQ is two blocks from here. I feel like I should be able to walk over there and give them a piece of my mind. :slight_smile:


I don’t know why it isn’t working; That’s why I opened a ticket… with you.


ServiceNow can do all this cool stuff apparently. But knowing how to set that up requires a degree from Unseen University.


It’s been 15 years, but that specific point was one reason why we chose and bought HEAT.

The Help Desk admins could customize with no other help needed, like SQL gurus, etc.


Go take this SNMP config and stick it somewhere.


A ticketing system was the very reason that I found you guys all those years ago. A woman I worked with pointed out the Chronicles of George website and said I might find it interesting.

I coded a platform using VB5 and MSAccess that was eventually used by hundreds of users every day across multiple networks all across Canada. It wasn’t easy, and everything I did seemed to be a kludge because of the limitations I was under with the software I was allowed to use, but it worked. It worked very well with automated maintenance scripts and repair/programs that I had to put together to deal with the degradation in the Jet database system. When they eventually replaced my program with HEAT, the users were not happy. They thought my homebrew system worked better and was easier to follow. Of course it was. There was nothing extra. It was streamlined to our operations.

When I think of the money I saved my bureau by building that thing, it blows my mind. How much does HEAT cost per year for 300+ seats? Multiply that by 7 years. I bet it’s a lot more than my salary.

Hell, I even had multiple language support and selectable themes. It was completely confirgurable and had user security built in. It was beautiful. Then one day, poof. Gone. Go back to doing the monkey work you were hired to do. No thanks, no parade.

Building that thing was at least 2 pay grades above me. I did it because I was bored.

What I WISH I could say: Fuck you. Pay me.


$oldjob had HEAT when I joined in 2005. When we went looking to upgrade/modernize a few years into my tenure, the HEAT vendor came in and told us how everything was totally different, they revamped the whole thing, rewrote from the ground up and made it web based! Then they showed us a web interface that looked exactly like the thick client we’d been using.


Dear $Colleague

Why did you removed the SIM (and lost it) of your company-issued cellphone?

I smell a rat.


Why yes, I’d love six new hire setups, one of which is a senior VP, on a short week at the same time we’re starting the Win7 to Win10 migration in earnest.


Make it seven new hires.


You gave me a new hire ticket this morning with a start date of 5/24. Today is 5/29. And I’m buried in tickets. You’ll get it when you get it. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.


Don’t try to blame this debacle on our group. Y’all are the ones who didn’t communicate.


Who’s for a game of “Bullshyte Bingo” during the next all-staff meeting?


/raises paw

Can also be during any meeting with any new vendor or rep.


It sure grates my carrot when somebody’s company phone gets pickpocketed out of their nasty pocketses but said person takes their sweet time in informing IT about said pickpocketing incident.


How would you feel if you had loaned your phone to me, it got stolen from my pockets and I did not report it straightaway to you, but only after some 12 hours or so…


Yeah, I know. It’s only a tiny bomb scare, and you don’t even think it’s that credible. Thanks for giving me the option of staying at work if I want to.


Update - managed to lock and block said phone using android tools.

Wish I could’ve left a nasty message on the phone, but I’m not in the mood for drama.


I’m not much of a designer, but the icon for Checkpoint Firewalls actively offends me and looks like it was designed by someone who shouldn’t be allowed to design icons.


Gief picsher of said offending icon?