Things you wish you could say (at work)


Dear :clown_face:

TOTAL : 3405w

And you’re running it all from a what? 3kVa UPS, rated at 2.2kVa…



idiotic XP

need to scan remote site for an UPS with SNMP network card… downloaded NirSoft FastResolver and added an IP range to scan - lost remote desktop access.

Seems the 192.168.x range takes preference above the 10.x.x range… :roll_eyes:

edit : yay, found out it’ll scan IP ranges not in your TCP/IP settings list. Cool.


And before anybody asks “why xp” - it was a 520Mb ISO upload in comparison to a 3Gb Win7 ISO upload. And I was in a hurry.


Seems sensible enough. Need Windows in a hurry, and you’re using Generic Software? Just use XP. I don’t think I’ve encountered any Windows software that genuinely needs anything higher, with the exception of games.


Every one of your “perks” and “incentives” is designed to coerce people to stay at this company out of fear of missing out on money. You’re not even trying to hide it.


You can have “short timer’s disease” around your co-workers where it’s evident that you don’t have to care as much because you’re counting down to retirement, but seriously? Did I actually hear you tell a customer that? Joking or not, that’s something you don’t say to a customer.


Really? Placing an order with IT for software and hardware (office, new laptop, extra screen etc) on the day the applicant start working at the company, and hoping that we can pull a white wascally wabbit out of the hat.

It just is not on. I’m in a mood of issuing craptops instead. With XP. Oh wait, we got rid of these yonkers ago.

Too bad. You’ll have to wait for procurement to place an order, and it’ll be when pigs are flying, the company does not have money for new stuff.


I’m sorry, I can’t just let random people in to offices to install hardware with no notice. We have to do paperwork and stuff.


As I now sit in Consultant territory -


I am trying to propose a considerable number of high value solutions for you without it impacting your costing and you’re STILL dragging your feet on making any kind of decision. This is why your business is failing and people are leaving in droves.


No, I’m not your helpdesk tech. I’m the sysadmin for this company and I won’t teach you how to use Outlook. Who the hell hired you if you don’t know how to use the most basic office programs??


Send them to me. I’m teaching two Outlook classes right now.


DEAL! No takebacks!


They have to pay me, of course. :wink:


If you’re going to give me a ticket for a laptop refresh please make sure that’s what it’s actually for. Not “she decided to keep the loaner so please update the info in $Asset_Management_System”. You’re three time zones ahead of me so when you pull this shit in the afternoon I have to spin my wheels and look like an idiot until you come back in the morning.


Dude, I get it. You don’t care any more. You don’t have to care any more because you’re retiring shortly.

Stop trying to convince me that I shouldn’t care any more, either. Stop trying to force me to give up just because you have.


This DisplayPort cable has HDMI on one end. April Fools was yesterday, assholes.

Whoever zip tied these cables I hope you burn in hell.


Oooh, I hate ziptied cables with a passion.

Better use Velcro ties, easier that way.


My boss is the patron saint of zip ties.

Edit - like, bull in a china shop style. Every year or two, he goes apeshit and zip ties seemingly every cable he can find that isn’t currently in use. Then I spend months following behind, cutting off zip ties, and putting on velcro straps. It is the gift that keeps on giving.


But cable ties are a GOOD thing!

Google image repository of cable optimization


It depends on where and which cables are in play.

Ziptie mouse and keyboard cables (for example) will upset the person responsible for replacing said ziptied peripherals.

On the other hand, zipties are good at keeping ne’er-do-wells tied up whilst waiting for the paddy waggon to arrive.