Things you wish you could say (at work)


Were they employees or contractors?

I’m not sure about local laws where you’re at, but if their next job comes calling asking, “Would you re-hire this employee?” and the answer is “No”, that’s a pretty big red-flag for the new company.




But which Native American tongue? There are literally thousands.

Also mahalo means thank you in Hawaiian.


How long is it polite to wait to have a remote technician declared dead?


Three minutes after the heart stops should be enough.


Three minutes after I feel that last hope-evacuating breath brush across my forearms.


I had one quit my chat when I didn’t respond for 1 minute and 35 seconds.

Well sorry, but I’m a busy boy and I (have to) multitask.


That’s nothing! My techs are doing some non-trivial hardware replacement and I think the best time is about 20 minutes, but in most cases it’s 45-60 minutes. Some have been close to 2 hours…

Since I sometimes have 3 sites working at a time, I’m generally cool with them going off-line while they do so… But I get worried at 90 minutes or so if I haven’t heard back from the people on-site.


You’ve been told more than once that I’m working on the Win10 migration. Stop assigning me regular tickets.


@Force10: tip of the day. Turn off WSD support if you can. Having Windows search the entire LAN and install print drivers for you to be “helpful” doesn’t help.


We had a discussion a few days ago that came down to we need to be more aware that big brother is watching us. Did you think I forgot about it over the weekend when you called me? No. It was a deliberate and logical decision on how to handle workload.


You betcha - I tend not to answer my work phone over weekends.

It is my time with my family, work see me enough anyway.


If you don’t know how to do your job, tell us, don’t try to hide it for an hour until we chase you down.


ISO900xxxxx talks are fine and dandy, but forcing people to start following procedure is an entire different thing altogether.

Been there, done that.


Add to that:

If you want something, tell us what you actually want, and let us decide how to make it happen for you.


I have so many thing I want to say at work.

Sadly, I’d be tagged as “not a team player” (at best) or promptly removed from the premises (at worst).


Amazing how this term has so little to do with how well you actually work with the team but more with you pushing for other people to do their part. Yes, project includes 1-10, we divided it into thirds, I did 3-8, and co-orker A did 1 and coworker B did 9. Still needed 2 and 10, which I also did, but 1 was wrong, and 9 was out of date, so I did those too.

Damn it Woodman, you need to be a team player… “I’m playing every position, who needs a team?”


And then you get those who keep their cards close to their chests, and should their laptops/external hard drives get stolen/crash, then it’s your fault for not anticipating that and making a backup.


I dislike such people.

Already we have started a process of which everybody will be a part. No excuses.


Look, jackass. I followed all the procedures and troubleshooting steps before reaching out to your group. So cut the snark and tell me if you can help me or not.


Dear $Colleague

I know our file server is in a bit of a mess since most of our users stored documents in any location they can find nilly-willy, but finding a couple of old documents, and trying to accuse the documentation lady of not doing her work, and not telling us where you’ve found it does not sit well with me.

You are placing your job, mine and the documentation lady at jeopardy should you continue with this nonsensical behaviour.

Grow up, tell us where you found it and leave the rest to us to sort it out.