Things you wish you could say (at work)


Is it vacation o’clock yet?


The files we need are only about 7k each. Why are they wrapped in individual .zip files, then individual Outlook messages, which are then attached to a single Outlook message?

At the end, I think that 7k per file has lead to 20 files being part of a 2 megabyte email message.


Can we please get logins to the card payment system if you’re going to insist changing our job roles to include taking payments. I’m pretty sure we’re breaking the law writing down people’s card details on whiteboards and then stacking them next to $GuyWithLogins.


Might not be breaking the law, but PCI compliance auditors would have a field day.


Yeah, the Idiot’s Guide to Online payments is basically the longer the payment info is retrievable, the higher the risk. Ideally you make it Somebody Else’s Problem and use a payment gateway/3rd party, but guessing that’s not an option.


I have no idea what you’re putting into it, but that e-cigarette stinks. I think it might be worse than a tobacco cigarette.

(at various locations:)
You might be the required distance from the door, but you’re upwind. You might as well be standing right next to it. Whether it’s a breeze or a stronger wind, it takes more than 25 feet for cigarette smoke to disperse.


Tell them vapers that halon is a rad new flavour :smiling_imp:


Ooh… Update to my field tech who didn’t have the right screwdriver, then the screws were stripped: Another Field Tech was dispatched to the site and had no issues, including the screws somehow apparently unstripping themselves. That happens, right?


I can interest Sir in a bridge, yes?


Sounds like someone is gonna spend the new year enjoying filling out their P45…

(iirc, P45s are pink now too, so the joke works on both sides of the pond)


Had to look up P45… For good or ill., my gig has layers upon layers of contractors, and the field techs I supervise are contractors of Company D paid by Company C, whereas I am a contractor paid by Company A which is a wholly owned subsidiary of my customer, Company A.

Yes, it’s confusing. Anyway, the end result is basically we can request to never talk to a field tech again and ~viola!~ they’re never seen again.

(Yes, I know it’s “voila” but it’s funnier this way.)


Is it though?


To the guy who keeps bragging about his vaporware app. Dude can it, no one cares.


How can you brag about something that doesn— oh. He’s Molenyeuxing.


It would be one thing if he kept the story straight, but it changes every time he talks about it.


Look - I think you use WAY too much hand lotion, but that’s your lookout.

Until you come over to my cube and rest your hand on my coat… now my coat smells like your greasy palms.


< /game >
I don’t use hand lotion, except in rare, specific circumstance like extended cold, dry periods if I get an itchy patch.
Maybe I’m just naturally moist. :laughing:

But I’ve seen people who keep bottles of the stuff at their desks, and they slime a new batch on their hands every little while. I KNOW it hasn’t worn off yet - Ithey haven’t gone outside, or washed their hands, or wiped them on a paper towel, or anything. I think some people get used to the feeling of “newly slathered” and if they don’t feel that they go back for more.

This guy is one of those.

He is also on the “transition” list since we’ve been acquired, and is looking for a sympathetic ear, maybe some advice. I’m trying to be nice, but he got comfortable, leaning on the cubicle wall.



I currently have about six different bottles of lotions in my drawer at work. All for extremely dry skin. And i put it on probably every twenty minutes. Soaks in that fast. Oh yeah, and the handwashing all the time. Dogs are so gross… :joy:


It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.


There, IFIFY.


Having just watched the video you posted in Web Find of The Day, I’m not going to ask questions. :smile: