Things you wish you could say (at work)


Same here. Been fighting a cold since last week and it’s mostly, gone, but my voice is shot (great when meeting a new boss), and I have a sinus headache that feels like someone has been drilling through my right temple.


Amen, brother! Preach it! lol
Yep, achy all over, coughing and hacking, sore throat, voice shot.
Oh, and the power just went out at work. Well, one let, at least. Pretty sure lightening hit the pole right next to our building. It was a big boom. Just did the mad scramble to turn off all the computers in the lab. Fun.


Listen up.

One or two critical PC’s rebooting by themselves is no big deal, OK? We just have to find out what the issue is.

Now stop making things up about $other_sites also having the same issues, all it does is just piss me off more.


Fool me once, shame on you. I’m not falling for this BS a second time.


Please send me qualified techs. Also, ones that won’t lock themselves out of the office they’re working in at 9:00 at night.


I think that request might be looked at as oddly specific. Do you make that an interview question or what?


I once locked myslef out of the office suite on a Saturday while testing the access card system.

Had to burgle my way back into the office since my card didn’t work and I didn’t have a key.


We should now. These are dispatched field engineers, so we get them for a night, make’em do work, then move on. Random new guys almost every night we do this.

I also had to help a guy spell USB.


Ugh, yeah, always love that one. Occasionally, it is a lawyer. Almost more forgivable, because they’re not all ‘technology’ technical people, but with the amount of ‘legal’ technical attention to detail that is necessary in their profession, meh, not so much.


Uhh Ess Bee?

Uhh See See? Whut???

scratches head, farts, walks away nonchalantly


Right, who had the brainfart of mapping $transaction on a programmable keyboard to the F1 key?

When the cashier is logged out, pressing the $transaction key makes the antivirus help screen pops up, which they cannot close, due to a locked-down system.


At $oldjob, we discovered when the building power cut out that the electronic key card system that gave access to our server room was either not on UPS power at all, or on a UPS that had a very short runtime. Some network devices outside the server room may have been, but not the right ones for remote access or to power desktops.

Result: sysadmin had to pull a ceiling tile, climb over the wall into the server room (that’s some great security, eh?), and then frantically attempt to shut servers down at the consoles before the UPSs gave out.


Heh, happened to us once as well.


In my case it was a field engineer who I’d hope would know this kind of thing. Also, he had just before placed a flash drive in a slot labeled USB, which should’ve been a reminder. His ability to put the drive in a slot suggests he may have the capability to reproduce if he has not already done so.


I’ve seen people write USB as Universal Cereal Bus and just had to lie down in a dark room to weep.


I had the same guy at another site last night. Luckily, I only had to run one site replacement that night, so I basically did everything and just had him be the smart hands to insert USB drive, replace hardware, etc. Went pretty smoothly, actually.


A universal cereal bus would be pretty cool though. I can get Cap’n Crunch delivered right to my house? Score.


So you gave me a laptop lock to give to Rafael. What about the other three ninja turtles? They don’t get to secure their laptops?


Wasn’t Donatello normally the ‘tech’ member of the group? Seems like he’d grab the laptop.


And the Shredder to install Vista on all the laptops*…

*Vista worked quite fine for me, never had any serious issues. Just had to turn off excess eyecandy.