Things you wish you could say (at work)


This firewall needs to take the night off.


Hunh, the freedom to say No, I won’t do it that way because it’s not the way it’s supposed to be is refreshing.

I’m short, I don’t have to keep you happy.


The first time I was able to say “no” at $job and have it actually stick was a magical moment. I never had that kind of pull at $oldjob.


That 200 pages of crap stuck in the print queue was canceled because you printed it yesterday and didn’t care to pick it up, so I’m guessing it’s not important.


It’s not the getting it to stick that’s magical, it’s the lack of effort. I just said no, as opposed to marshaling hours of research and bullet points to hammer my point home, along with a multi month effort to get it to work their way.


That too. Straight-up “no, not gonna do that, too much risk this afternoon”

And then a day later, the person asking for it comes back and says “oh yeah, we found another bug in what we were asking you to push out.”


On a sorta related item…

We’ve been short our internal IT type for almost 4 months. Director and I have been handling fires, but if it was super urgent, it slipped.

We now have filled that job, and NewGuy is playing catchup, email the person who submitted each open case.
He’s hitting… I’d guess… about 90% “Oh, yeah, that’s been handled.”

Which means they could have handled it without submitting a case.

Job security, I’d have to say.


Team meeting scheduled for my last day at work, it will take supreme efforts of will to not;

A) Scream “You’re all just a deck of cards” as I flip the table and run out of the conference room.
B) Go naked, or wear a ‘No Fat Chicks’ shirt or something.
C) Not disrupt the entire meeting by telling them all the things I think they are saying that are wrong.
D) Not refer to everyone by the pet names in my head.
E) Not giggle every time a problem is brought up I won’t have to deal with anymore.

And on the plus side, I presold like 4 Giant Jenga sets last night.


I’d do it… or at least wear a SE grin each time one comes up.

Unless you’d be burning bridges with a team lead or boss or something.


2 days after I gave notice at $oldjob, an all-hands meeting was announced for the end of the week.

Beforehand (the topic wasn’t announced), during and after, it took a lot of effort to resist saying “that’s a big pile of :poop: I’m glad I don’t have to worry about!”


Don’t forget to wave your hat.


That’s the one that I’d find hardest to resist


I didn’t get laid off last week.

Fuck, it’s been almost four years since I had to look for a job. I forgot what a royal pain in the posterior it is.


Well … shit.


Ahh, that sucks. Sorry.


Ah, damn, F10.

Sorry to hear that.


Good luck with the job search.


I’ll try to mute my celebrations.

I think I saw that you already had one interview though right?


Not nice.

All of the best with finding a new job then!


The first night back on the night shift grind wasn’t a 12 hour marathon of telling someone that we need the job done right, not fast.

(But really hoping it’d be done fast.)