Things you wish the other driver could hear, v3.0


Depends on the one you go to. That particular one has been around for a while, and sometimes they get a bit lazy with some stuff. Last time I went their pancakes were really dry and not as good as they used to be.


We have a few exits around here that do require slowing before exiting ([bleep]ing weave lanes, especially), but the last two times I’ve been behind someone slowing down drastically well before exiting, there was no one else around, and the exit ramp was long and empty. THAT’s when it’s irritating.


If there are cars piled up behind you and no one in front of you for more than half a mile, don’t you think you might be the one slowing traffic down? Pull over!

After they finally pulled over:
Oh, you @#$#@%. You don’t have a passenger, and you’ve been slowing the carpool lane down for the last eight miles.


Drove behind a numb-nu… erm… idiot like tha on a drive across PA. Only two lanes, and shoulders closed in places due to construction.

He was afraid of passing the truck in the lane next to him, so EVERYBODY in BOTH LANES went the speed of a heavily loaded dump truck up and down PA hills.

I was next to him, and right behind the truck. He kept his front bumper just behind the rear bumper of the truck.
One time he goofed and slid back about 2 ft further than my car is long.

THAT broke up the logjam - at least for me. He switched lanes and got behind the truck at some later point, since I saw traffic coming through after I was a ways down the empty road.


Tickentocken blinkenlights.

Use it.

Thank you.


All this time, I thought that sign said “stop”. Looks like I was wrong. Let’s see. The letters are in uppercase, so that must mean it’s an acronym. I wonder what it stands for. Let me take a crack at this.

Slowing down is for wussies and you’re not a wussy, so keep going.
Turn at the intersection without coming to a standstill.
Over 20 mph going around the corner is recommended.
Prepare to slam on the breaks to avoid the guy forty feet after the corner that is trying to back into his driveway.


Spin Tires On Pavement

Slightly Tap on Pedal

Also, the ones with white borders are optional. :smiling_imp:


No, I was in front of you and had the right of way.

You and your biggencar does not belong on the road anyway, it seems as if you have bought your drivers licence from the way you’re driving anyway.


It’s bad enough when people use the time at a stop light to check their phone, but you really need to put that down and just wait until you get where you’re going. Besides, there usually isn’t enough time at a stop light to do more than strum a few notes on your guitar anyway.

(Yes, I watched this guy play his guitar at all three of the stop lights we came to on that street before my turn came up.)


An old boss of mine is a guitar player and didn’t try to play while driving (that I’m aware of) but he did have some sort of finger-strength exerciser he’d use when stuck in traffic.


wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?


Look, I know you’re trying to beat traffic by screaming through our residential area. It’s the only way for someone as special as you to get where you’re meant to be. Traffic is not for you. That’s a given.

However, and I don’t mean for you to take any offence by this, obviously, but … however, maybe when your plan goes sideways and you get stuck behind a school bus taking on young children don’t just sit behind the bus honking your horn.


That’s why I had to stop stashing pennies in the door handle. That’s the kind of jackass at whom I would have thrown pennies. Pennies ping real nice when bouncing off the bodywork and windows!


We ain’t got pennies no more.


Well, that sucks


Throw nickels then.


Had a taxi driver sat on my a$$ Tuesday afternoon in slow-moving traffic, and he was shouting obscenities at me.

I ignored him, can’t help that traffic was real sucky.


I have already hit a groundhog and a chunk of tire today. Please go easy on me for the last drive home of the day.


It takes doing something at least twenty times before it becomes a habit. I guess it’s too much to expect that if you’ve driven past the same exit on the freeway that is a perpetual bottleneck, you might try moving to a lane away from the off- and on-ramps so that you’re not contributing to the bottleneck.



I know the rules say “slower traffic move right” but anywhere there are three or more lanes, I’d suggest that the right lane be reserved for oncoming and offgoing traffic.

Slower cars can have the middle.