Song of the Printerer Redux


#121

P - R - I - N - T - E - R
The network can’t find where you are


#122

I’ve got a lovely bunch of printerers (toodly-doo)
There they are, all standing in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as your house…


#123

Does Marcellus Wallace look like a printerer?


#124

The Printerer in the Moon


#125

I can’t feel my printerer when I’m with you, but I love it.


#126

My printerer’s better than your printerer,
My printerer’s better than yours.
My printerer’s better
because it eats tonerer,
My printerer’s better than yours.


#127

O Printerer,
Sat high on yon shelf,
A cascade of formfeed,
Drools from thine spool,
Why doest thou not print?
Is it the new printerer?
Doest it make thou jealous?
With its lasers and gizmos?
So what, and who cares,
You’re filled up with hammers
So make like Asgardian Thor
AND PRINT MY DAMN TRIPLICATE.

Freeform poetry. My English teacher always told me I was rubbish at it, but meh.


#128

[to the tune of Royals, by Lorde]

I’ve never seen a fuserer in the flesh
I cut my finger on a jagged edge, in the process
Of clearing out
This damn paper jam

But everyone’s like "see that door there, right under your nose?
Open that door, DO NOT TOUCH THE BLACK HOSE!"
But I don’t care, I’m gonna touch it anyway.

And we’ll never buy Ricoh (Ricoh)
Not a snowflake’s chance in hell;
The trial of this damn machine
Makes us love our old HP.

Step away from that toner! (toner)
You’re not qualified personnel!
I’m itching to roll, I’ll roll, I’ll roll I’ll roll…
…this Ricoh out the door.


#129

Show me your printerer, and I’ll show you mine.


#130

Printerering


#131

(Groan)…


#132

sample of printer code recovered from $UNKNOWN$

if 
  day_of_week=MONDAY
    then
       randomize
       throw luser critical reports away
    else
      randomize(1..4)
      1:garble output
      2:dirty output
      3:display FUSER_ERROR
      4:continue
end .annoy_code
if username=$BIGBOSS$ 
then
  ignore all critical errors and printerer that **** report!
end

feel free to add more :smile:


#133

The “if username=$BIGBOSS$” should come before the first “then” block. Otherwise the big boss will get all the errors.


#134

Also include username=$EXPENSIVEPRINTERTECHNICIAN$ to the error exclusion list, for laughs.


#135

black tonerer trumps CMY

especially on a white shirt


#136

I’m picturing a white shirt that has had CMY tonerer all over it. And laughing.


#137

printerer, printerer in the hallway
who is the fairest tonerer of them all?


#138

Printerer, what is that bleeping for?

No really, I checked your manual. You don’t bleep.

WHY ARE YOU BLEEPING!?

^ a true story of my afternoon.


#139

Annoy-o-tron?

Which gives me an idea… muhuhahaha


#140

I bought one of those some years ago after $cow-orker waged prank war on me. He stopped (that phase) when I hid it behind the network point faceplate in his office. :smirk: