I really wish I had the chops to develop some games, as I am getting sick of seeing the dumb-ass mistakes of “popular games”. I sear, some of them require real-world recursive SAN checks,
- If your monster with X ability never uses X in the game, then it doesn’t have X ability.
- If your dungeon/maze/etc. can be completed without confronting more than 50% of the mobs, it’s not a dungeon/maze/etc., it’s just a bad neighborhood.
- If your exchange rate for in-game currency is higher than $1:NG 1000, you’re just asking to get DDoSed or TJMaxxed. For reference,NG is in-game purchasing power. If it takes more than 10c to purchase a one day resource boost, you’re just a robber baron, IMHO.
- The same goes for requiring materials or items, which can only be obtained with purchased in-game currency, in order to continue the game at any point.
- “Buy This” quests are never justified.
- If a “STAR” player perk can’t be found within ten clicks of the mouse, it’s not a perk, it’s a broken promise.
- If your help file is less than 1000 words, it’s the opposite of help.
- If any level before level 10 requires a Youtube walkthrough, it’s not a game. No, “strategy” and “tatics” are not excuses.
- Stop using terms like “astrogation” or any terms related to propulsion unless you’ve taken at least one related college-level course. For physics and astronomy, make that a second-year course.
- Using the Cliff Notes version of astronomy automatically precludes you using any planet other than Earth as a base or location.
- If players have no way to cooperate on raids or participate in PvE (a lame animation doesn’t count), you are not an MMO.
- If players have no input into basic decisions such as class, abilities, race, gear, etc., it’s not an RPG. No, choosing between six different avatars, which have no effect on game play, does not make it an RPG.
- Combining inappropriate genre/subject tags is lazy and dishonest. No, ignorance and stupidity are not excuses.
- An RTS is rarely an RPG.
- An RTS is never a Tower Defense.
- A Tower Defense is never an RPG.
- A “hidden object” is never an RPG.
- If you can’t tell a story at the level of “Dick and Jane go to the store”, you shouldn’t be developing any game which requires a backstory and a plot in the quest tree.
- Any quest tree requires a backstory.
- If achievements have no effect on game play, they’re just badges. Main story or side story quests with a badge as the only reward are abusive.
- If your only knowledge of mythology is a cursory scan of a Wikipedia “list of” page, you’re not qualified to use mythology references in your game. This goes double for perpetuating Hollywood mish-mashed cross-system mistakes.
- It is easy to find a native speaker of any language that would gladly proofread your game for that language. Failing to do so is stupid and lazy. It is just as easy, if not easier, to run a spellcheck and grammar check in your own native language.
- Big boobs, BESM, chibi, yaoi, etc., do not automatically make your game good or popular, unless your target demographic is pedophiles and players under 11.
- A chat channel requires moderators and filters. Otherwise it is just 4chan.
- Posting of links should only be allowed for game forums or game wikis. Anything else is just spam.
- Worldbuilding is an art. Just throwing darts or shuffling flash cards is not the way to develop a fictional game world.
- If you have never lived in or visited (for a minimum of one month) a region, state, or country, you are not qualified to use it as a location in your game. Watching movies, especially comedies or mindless action flics, does not count as reliable research.
- If your game can fail a fact-check by anyone with a 10th grade reading level or anyone with a 5th grade math level, you are not qualified to develop games.
- There is rarely a good reason to use lens flare or blood-splatters on the camera lens.
- If the background of the game is too detailed or colorful for the player to find their character on the screen, it’s just bad art. A one-pixel “aura” is not a fix to this.
- Using all of your budget (or more than 70% of your budget) on any one of the following is not an excuse for poor implementation of any of the others: art, animations, cut-scenes, server maintenance (this one has exceptions, on rare occasions), marketing, sound effects, voice-overs. - Spending 70% of your budget on employees is only permissible if the employees actually work and produce content at least than 33% of the time they are being paid for. (I blame Google and Mozilla for lowering the bar on this)
- If there are more than one cut-scene for every three levels or more than one for every ten minutes of game play, stop developing games and go back to Film.
- 3D objects in a 2D world probably means that you flunked computer animation. Using characters of less than 128x128 pixels means you definitely flunked computer animation.
- Clipping errors can not be excused for any reason.
- Using a random name from a limited list is trite. Trite is bad.
- In-game jokes, visual puns, “plahts”, etc., can be fun. Don’t push it.
Feel free to add your own.