Job advertisements

I laughed at this one.

Are they serious?


At least they’re up-front about it.


Just wtf do they mean with “braindump”? Sounds as if you tried to download the entire Cisco CCNP level directly to your brain but suffered a bluescreen midway through the transfer…

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Ah, seems I was partly correct with my assessment … seems braindump is getting hold of the exam questions and answers and memorizing them all…

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Gratch had an interview the other day where they talked about it. The guy had gone through quite a few candidates with ‘certifications’ and it was pretty obvious they knew the test and nothing more. At that level, you need to know your shit, not just how to take a test.


I’ve interviewed folks like that - they can spew the buzzwords and textbook answers, but throw them a curve ball, or just probe deeper, and it all goes very wrong. I rather like the honesty in that advert - if only more were like that :wink:

I hired a cashier once who raved about her experience as a cashier. Her first day, as I was showing her the register, she gasped and said “what are all the buttons for?”

Yeah, she didn’t last long. If I remember correctly, she failed to show up for her shift on a Friday - just in time for us to be short for the weekend rush.

Hah, have you seen the “registers” they use at fast food places now?

BTW, as an aside. How big of an impact has being able to use a tablet as a register and CC reader had on the micro business model? I don’t normally use a card, but from farmer’s markets to roadside stands all you need is a phone or a tablet and a free reader.

Also, the infrastructure savings of throwing down a couple mobile tablet mounts and a box for cash compared to a multi-thousand dollar register can’t be downplayed. Boom, you just saved like 5k on set up, at least.


In my younger days (1995-2000) I was involved with Ulti-Sales, a South African POS software company.

Ulti-Sales was well-thought out, and use a standard PC as basis. No fancy keyboards or the such, except when the client required it.

Recently I took a look at the latest POS offerings, touch screen etc… and thought what if you could put all that on a phablet/tablet and have it transfer the sales wirelessly (either via 3G/LTE/wifi) to HO?

The only problem then will be the cash drawer, but it should be possible with an USB doohicky you plug the device in so that it can send a “till open” request to the drawer, and print a slip on a till printer.

Plus the screen can change on-the-fly, for example, when you do cash purchases or credit purchases, or do a pro-forma invoice.



Email receipts are the bomb. Plus you can collect the email address for your mailer.

Hmmm… maybe we’re on something big here? :smile:

I have one email account. I’m not giving out to someone whose only interest in having it is so that they can spam me or sell it to everyone on the planet.

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Yes, but the local donut shop emails me my receipt and has emailed me twice since my first visit. Once for an event they were putting on, and the second for a BOGO offer, in six months.

I’ll take that traffic not to stick a stupid piece of paper in my wallet where it will stay until I clear it out along with the other dozen scraps of paper.

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Gmail - use one account which forwards it to your main account. If that one account get compromised, nuke it and get a new account which forwards stuff to your main account. Lather, rinse, repeat.

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You could also have multiple accounts that forward to the main account. Give out each address to only one company, that way you can tell who is doing the compromising.

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Some interesting ideas there, but the point is to only have one e-mail address. 8)

I tend to find that most of the spam and almost-spam being directed towards me by name isn’t from companies selling my data, it’s from companies picking out email addresses that are easy to extrapolate names from.

For example, my email address is because I signed up for .Mac back in the day because I rather liked the services it provided. As the service has been upgraded over the years, I have also been provided with @me and @icloud addresses which I don’t use because everyone who needs to email me already has the @mac address.

And yet I still get mail, addressed to me by name, arriving at - not to my @mac one. Weird.

I came across this one today for a Database Management Specialist. They’re offering $17-20/hour. 0_0
Good luck with that.

Position Summary:

Under the direct supervision of the Chief Development Officer, the
Database Manager is responsible for gift processing, acknowledgements,
reports, and database improvement.

Essential Functions and Job Responsibilities:

• Ensuring Database Integrity
• Conducting weekly/monthly audits of data entry to ensure accuracy
• Updating donor profiles with correct contact information and group designations
• Providing department staff/users with feedback on their data entry practices
• Maintaining users and security settings for the system
• Producing or supporting verified month and year-end development reports
• Reconciling gift deposits with finance department at month and year-end

Maintaining Efficient Database and Operations

• Ensuring the database and operations support your strategies – “translating” fundraising goals and strategies into operations
• Periodically eliminating obsolete query, report, and export parameter settings

Responsibility for Data Entry and Acknowledgment

• Managing data entry/gift processing
• Designing and managing the gift processing workflow
• Ensuring that gift acknowledgments are produced within a specified timeframe
• Maintaining records needed for annual audit
• Supporting production of standard and custom reports – determining
with staff which reports are needed regularly (monthly, weekly, etc.)
and setting them up to allow self-service reporting
• Where needed, building custom reports for special projects
• Building queries and exports for complex mailing lists and segments
such as newsletters, direct mail appeals, and event invitations
• Creating and maintaining mail merge acknowledgment letters for acknowledgment of gifts
• Manage invoicing and follow up for donor pledges
• Creating and maintaining merges for pledge reminders and event invoices

Supporting Users

• Providing ongoing assistance to users – encouraging use of vendor’s
technical support, but when questions are dependent on knowledge of the
organization’s specific configuration, support from the Database
Management Specialist is necessary

• Develop a procedures manual for fund development staff
• Driving compliance, ongoing training, certification and best practice usage
• Developing and delivering targeted training to current and new users

External Responsibilities

• Updating job knowledge by participating in educational opportunities;
reading professional publications; maintaining personal networks;
participating in professional organizations
• Maintaining knowledge of new developments and features of your system
• Reviewing invoices and new products from vendor and conferring with leadership to determine best use of budgeted dollars
• Serving as liaison to vendors such as the mail house, wealth screening, or address update services
• Maintaining and improving donation capture through Paypal or other
vendors, making regular deposits to bank account, and getting
information to fiscal department
• Supporting Events Specialist in importing donor information, creating pledges and invoicing donors after events
• Working with Communications Manager to ensure that agency website is
capturing needed donor information, and analyze success of campaigns

Program Outcome tracking

• Work with program management to track and report on program outcomes
• Work with Chief Operating Officer to develop outcome tools and measures

Other duties as assigned

Minimum Qualifications:

• Bachelor’s degree, preferred
• Two years experience in database management
• Excellent written and communication skills

Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities:

• Data entry
• Proven skills in promoting process improvement
• Data maintenance, audit and clean up expertise
• Attention to detail
• Ability to run reports and deliver in a timely fashion to multiple staff
• Proven organizational and problem-solving skills
• Demonstrated skills with Microsoft Office and cloud-based applications
• Technical understanding with Little Green Light (or similar database)
• Personable, engaged, and ability to interact and present at many levels
• Demonstrated strong communications skills, both written and verbal
• Ability to maintain confidentiality
• Ability to work well with and collaborate with staff in the development department
• Outgoing, energetic, organized, and able to work independently
• Ability to manage many projects and deadlines concurrently
• Excellent customer service

$17-20? I make more than that (barely) doing desktop support. These people must be smoking the really good stuff.

Holy shit, shouldn’t a job pay like $10 per page on the job description?

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