Inane Product Descriptions

We kind of hijacked the diet thread, so I thought maybe a new topic would be best. And best of all it’s not just food!

The USB hub Toshiba foisted on me has been on the blink (literally), so I started looking for a new one. I need a hub that can handle 3.0. The product titles and descriptions on Amazon are enough to make an illiterate person cringe. Here’s some of the “features”:

  • “Hot swap” … Or, you could say “USB”
  • “Backwards compatible” … Or, “USB”.
  • “Individual power switches on each port”… Because nothing says “great deal” like “now with 100% more point-of-failure per port!”
  • “With individual LED indicator lights” … Okay, make that 200%
  • “With free USB 3.0 cable” … sigh
  • “Integrated USB 3.0 cable” … Because, when it fails, we don’t want you getting a free cable
    out of it.
  • “Detachable” … If you still want a non-detachable USB hub, we recommend superglue
  • “Adapter” … no, and adapter changes from one thing to a different thing. “Splitter” … no, a splitter shares the same signal with all downstream objects. You don’t want to do this with USB, which is why each port has a separate identifier on it.
  • “with surge protection” … if my computer is outputting surges in power, a USB hub is the least of my worries.
  • “with AC adapter/power supply” … This is a pet peeve of mine. If it has a jack for AC power, ti should come with the freakin adapter. Otherwise it is a zero-value feature, which means it is not a feature.
  • “USB 3.0 blah blah blah USB 3.0 sumpin sumpin USB 3.0 blah blah blah USB 3.0” … this is why we should not let Pomeranians get a Marketing degree.
  • “with additional power charging ports” … I can charge my accessories from any USB port. What you really mean is “some ports are incapable of being used for data”

Then there is the company that listed the same product over 100 times, because each one had to have the specific device it works with (Sanyo XXX, Galaxy S, Galaxy 5, Microsoft Surface, Mac, Mac Pro, etc.), but refuses to note whether it is 2.0 or 3.0.

Although some sellers on Amazon are still selling USB 1.1.

I look forward to seeing your examples of extremist consumerist terrorism!


Well, if your printerer has a power surge, it would be bad if it the USB hub went KA-blooey.

But you will not get full power on ports that transfer data:

[quote=wikipedia]As with previous USB versions, USB 3.0 ports come in low-power and
high-power variants, providing 150 mA and 900 mA respectively, while simultaneously transmitting data at SuperSpeed rates. Additionally, there is a Battery Charging Specification (Version 1.2 – December 2010), which increases the power handling capability to 1.5 A but does not allow concurrent data transmission. The Battery Charging Specification requires that the physical ports themselves be capable of handling 5 A of current but limits the maximum current drawn to 1.5 A.[/quote]

You will however need that (not included) power adapter then.