Grief and loss

#1

I know that several of us have lost people close to us, some recently. Others are suffering from other hardships in their lives. I’m starting this thread for us to vent, give advice on how each of us is dealing with grief, and offer some virtual support an hugs.

I find that I’m missing the roommate a lot, and today I’ve run out of things to keep myself busy with. If I’m not busy, I tend to pace around the house and cry a lot. What to do? I’m going to go out to get some zucchini seeds today and maybe go see Captain Marvel, but how do I spend the rest of the day?

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#2

I am so sorry, please let me know if you need anything.

#3

At a loss as well, this is not an easy topic or subject…

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#4

I put this out there so all of us can vent a bit. I know it’s hard, it can be personal, but this is a community of people that has been together for many years. As such, we can support each other a bit, and I’d like to be there for others in the community just as everyone in this community has been there for me. I appreciate the people here so much.

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#5

I’m personally having the worst time with a non-death loss … I can no longer call and talk to my grandma bc it’s too much for her, tires her out…and she lives 6hrs away, so I can’t visit either. Pretty much cuts her out of my life completely, even though she’s still alive. Hate thinking she’s just sitting there lonesome half the time when I used to visit her two or three times a week when I was younger. We all lived in the same small town. Not only am I missing her, but her mind and body aren’t even at peace. :disappointed:

#6

I can only imagine what that was like. I felt awful when I was only allowed to visit the roommate once or twice a week, and he was unconscious.

Can you call her? A five minute phone call might not tire her out too much if the nurse puts it on speaker, and she knows that you’re thinking of her.

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#7

I wish. She can barely deal with the phone anymore. Picks up the clock. Holds the phone upside down. Barely can hear but won’t get hearing aids bc “there nothing she feels like hearing anymore” :rofl::rofl:. I just visit a few times a year. Just miss the old grandma.

#8

I’ve been relatively lucky, but I definitely find the harder part of aging is not so much my own body’s betrayals (we’ve been frenemies for decades; I’m used to it), but other people dying. My best friend Matt died last spring of complications from raging alcoholism I didn’t even know he was dealing with; the spot is still vacant.

#9

This year just keeps hitting. My best friend just texted me to let me know that her sister is in ICU and not expected to make it. Please make it stop!

#10

@nabiki - hang on there!

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#11

Im so sorry Nabiki.

#12

I got the whole story today. There was never a chance for my friend’s sister. She was putting some stuff up in the rafters of her garage when she fell through the rafters and well, I’ll save you the gory details, but she hit her head and essentially died there. They had her on life support for a while, but she was brain dead, so the family decided to remove the life support.

#13

Oh thats an absolute shame.

#14

Sorry to hear that. Condolences.

#15

I keep seeing things that I want to tell the roommate about. It’s putting a bit of a damper on the trip.

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#16

Hugs, Nabiki. That must be rough. I went through the same thing after my best friend killed himself. It sucks. :frowning:

#17

Oh man i cant pretend to know how that must feel. I wish there was something i could do to help.

#18

No reason you can’t still tell him.

Either in letter from or in quiet moments. I’ve talked to my dead before.

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#19

We spread my friend’s ashes about a half mile offshore at a beach we used to all hang out at. Every year I go visit him on his birthday and tell him what’s been going on with me. I had a lot to tell him this last time around.

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#20

I’ve been writing an email a day to him. It’s not the same. :frowning:

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