Fun Spam Mail

Wang Kaiyuan
Outside Director CNOOC
No.25,Chaoyangmenbei
Dajie,Dongcheng District,
Beijing 100010 P. R. China.

Letter of Intent,

Dear Colleague,

I humbly implore for your utmost consideration, as this mail demands your proposition of my intentional investment under your committal assistance Let me know if you have any interest for investment in your country as I am requesting your consideration towards investment partnership under your managerial experience only if you could be my ideal match for this venture.

By Introduction, I am Wang Kaiyuan the Outside Director of China National Offshore Oil Corp.,(CNOOC): http://www.cnooc.com.cn/data/html/english/channel_194.html
Optimistically, I am approaching for negotiation of Joint Venture investment partnership with you if you find it worthwhile and justifiable to work with a Chinese towards achieving a formidable business partnership.

It is important for me to know if you are interested to this development so I can be moved to furnish you with following details towards all legal procedure, Hence I demand a transparent and straight forward cooperation if you are willing to proceed revert.
Respectfully

Wang Kaiyuan
Outside Director CNOOC
No.25,Chaoyangmenbei
Dajie,Dongcheng District,
Beijing 100010 P. R. China.

Sounds legit don’t you guys think?

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WTH is that supposed to mean?

I always find it funny that when dealing with spammers they have zero grasp of the written English language. When I deal with legitimate Chinese for work they have zero grasp of the spoken language, but an excellent grasp of the written English language. When do you think that spammers will gain a third grade understanding of English?

When it becomes more profitable? Seriously they may just be using a dictionary app to translate individual words to English without any concern for accurate meaning or context. A prime example of that scatter shot approach to translation would be toys Dad brought back from Hong Kong for my two boys. One of the toys featured emergency rescue vehicles such as the jailbird police wagon and my favourite, the ambulance looking vehicle with the label meat wagon.

Mmmmm, soylent green.

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This is frickin hilarious

It is formatted as a Google Calendar notice!

Let me guess - the event is cancelled because she’s dead?

She’s awfully chatty for a dead lady.

I think the faked time zone line is the best. Nice of them to tell us what GMT stands for and which GMT they meant, right?

Didn’t we switch to UTC a few years back?

Those of us in the UK still use GMT - we did rule most of the world at one point, and it’s important that we never let you all forget that :stuck_out_tongue:

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And yet the UK had its ass handed to it by a few French and a smattering of Natives, by insisting that standing out in the open in a line was the correct way to fight a war.

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Oddly enough the exact same thing keeps happening, and not just to the British. Remember, the French thought all you needed to beat the Germans was sufficient elan to reach the other trench line. Then they sold the British, and half sold the Americans this. If there hadn’t been Americans who had just proved how stupid standing 50 feet away from each other and blasting away was just 40 years prior likely they’d have tried that too.

Besides, the Brits actually won the world by not taking afternoon naps.

I thought it was a stupid way to fight the civil war. Yeah, history repeats itself, especially in the hands of those who think they are inherently smarter than previous generations.

The mere passage of time does not make someone smarter (if it did, every nursing home would be a think-tank and every issue in the world would be solved). Experience makes one wiser. No-one ever got smarter by sitting on a calendar.

Those who fail to learn from the mistakes of their predecessors are destined to repeat them. Those who learned are doomed to suffer the consequences of the shitheads that didn’t.

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And the Civil war was filled with people who didn’t fight that way, out of sight of the Capitols. The farther west you went the more like modern war it got. But by God they were going to fight it “right” in the East.

It also didn’t help that the best generals were conflicted, and both sides started with safe people running things, not the best people. The war broke the Army even before it started.

Why, yes I will click on that link to “restore my Paypal ccount”, becaue everybody knows that Paypal uses websites with names like “ww­w.auto­junior­biella.i­t”

(Please note that I have formatted the website address above in such a way that it can not be clicked.)

The sad thing is, despite Paypal’s constant warnings about this, there will be plenty of ijjits who will follow the link anyway.

It is called idiot tax.

You can thank me for my order all you want, but you still won’t convince me to send my personal information to an Italian website in order to release my “Coastco” order.

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First, you misspelled “Wallmart”.

Second, there is not even a single byte of data processed through a polish website when I submit an order to the actual, real-life, bonafide Walmart.

Jeez. The unmitigated gall of these people.

Subject: ATTENTION SCAM VICTIM

On this faithful recommendations want you to know that during the last UN meetings held at Abuja , Nigeria. It was alarmed so much by the rest of the world in the meeting regarding the lose of funds by various foreigners to the scams artists operating in syndicates all over the world today, in other to retain the good image of the country, The president of the country (President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan.) is now paying 100 victims of this operators US$3, 000, 000,00. USD each, The payments are to be paid by Federal Reserve Account Unit, corresponding paying bank under funding assistance by the Central Bank of Nigeria (C.B.N.).

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We require your service as our company representative.

Well, if you’re that desperate, I require an 8-figure salary. Per hour.

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Wow. He got my contact information from “the A Job directory”. And to think I was going to delete that account.

And he’s included his PIN number as a gesture of the trust he has in me. What it’s a PIN for is left unsaid. But maybe we can take a guess, since there can’t be many places that requires (or even allows) a five digit PIN - with a letter in the middle.