A Thread for Jokes


#102

QFT.

The violent cases are either those who are so mentally ill that cough syrup would cause them to spazz out or caused by other drugs added to the marijuana.

If you added PCP or a host of other drugs to Pedialyte, you would get the same results.

Let’s ban Pedialyte as a Schedule I drug!


#103

That’s because you don’t get arrested for possession so more people are drunk in public. The number of people that regularly smoke pot is pretty small compared to drinkers. Think of the number of people you know that drink, then think of the number that become totally unruly. For me that’s much less than 5%, if that. I’d guess it’s the same for pot. Though until recently we haven’t had a place where people can do as much pot as they’d like without legal repercussions, and still really aren’t.

Anecdotal evidence to counter my anecdote. I doubt if anyone has done the required research into pot smokers always being mellow.

Marijuana should be legal, and it should be regulated similarly to alcohol. But I think the rose colored glasses will come off real soon on how safe it is.


#104

Drunk driving has become such a rampant problem that there are now law firms dealing solely with DUI. Not lawyers, but law firms.

Domestic violence, including child abuse, is on the rise, with alcohol being involved in the majority of cases.

While some locales do allow open containers in public, I think the majority do not.

All four of my brothers got citations for open container, minor under the influence, minor in possession, drunk driving (I don’t know how the two older ones still have a license), etc.

A little anecdote: When I was trying to get services from a mental health agency in Reno, one of the nurses informed me that a study of 14 year old girls smoking pot indicated that they had a higher incidence of schizophrenia. I asked what the incidence of schizophrenia was in 14 year old girls drinking alcohol, she said I was being ridiculous, that 14 year old girls couldn’t buy alcohol because they were underage.

Not the slightest bit of embarrassment. And this was supposed to be a medical professional.


#105

We agree on this. Although IMO weed is much safer than alcohol.


#106

And I’d just like to point out that an awful lot of people who smoke weed are in theory being careful. As opposed to people who down three six packs just to get warmed up and no one bats an eye, because it’s legal.

The rate of partner-to-partner violence dropped 64 percent between 1994 and 2010, a Justice Department report has found. The trend, almost unnoticed, stems from a broad shift in attitude toward domestic violence.

I go to the store and buy a case of beer right now. Have it sitting in the passenger seat of my car, and carry it openly to the door of my house. I can then sit on my porch drink several of them in a row and not one word will be said by the police. That’s what I meant by possession. I can’t walk around with a baggie of pot in my hands. I know plenty of people who won’t touch it simply because it’s illegal.

And each of those would be a crime if it was marijuana was in play instead of beer if I’m not mistaken, even if legalized. Hell, considering smoking laws in a lot of places, I’m not sure where you could smoke pot even if it was legal.


#107

I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to derail the thread for joke into a serious discussion… :wink:


#108

A man is driving down a country road when his car breaks down. he has no cell signal so he goes to a nearby farm to see if he can get some help. He notices a bunch of four legged chickens running around and asks the farmer what’s up with them.

“Well,” says the farmer “my family and I love drumsticks so we developed this breed.”

“That’s interesting,” says the man. “How do they taste?”

“Don’t know,” the farmer says. “Haven’t been able to catch one yet.”


#109

Thread derailing is a long standing tradition for the CoG. It’s almost a requirement that a thread has to be derailed at some point.


#110

It keeps the EPA and the NTSB on their toes.


#111

Have you seen the devastation a thread derailing causes in third world countries? We only get by with it because our infrastructure is built with so much overage it can withstand the load.


#112

Surely it’d be a case for AmTrak, or in our case NetworkRail, whenever something gets derailed? :wink:


#113

< modHat >
OK… OK… lets keep the derailing of the derailment to a minimum.
< /modHat >


#114

What’s red and lies in the gutter?

A broken down bus.

…I realise this only works if your local bus provider paints their busses red >.>


#115

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

(I was really tired when I heard that, so I was very entertained by it.)


#116

What’s black and white and red [sic] all over?

  • A newspaper.

What’s black and white and goes up and down?

  • A penguin in an elevator.

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, red?

  • A nun falling down the stairs.

Well, that escalated quickly. Or rather, de-escalated, in the case of that nun… :wink: …I’ll shut up now


#117

Courtesy of my father:

What’s black and white and really, really fast?

  • A fax-a-mile.

Oh dear.


#118

What’s yellow, leaks red, and lies in the ditch?

A demolished school bus.


#119

:open_mouth: your school district is using red diesel in its busses? I’m summoning the VEHICLE EXCISE AUDITOR! Shame on you, CWX County, Shaaaaame!

(cf: red diesel in Europe is low-tax and for non-vehicle use only)


#120

Yeah, let’s go with that.


#121

Well it can’t be children’s blood, or Germany would be censoring this page right now :smirk:

Anyone who buys videogames in Europe will understand this :smiley: bahaha